don't forget to breathe

George, my baby boy who's not a baby anymore.

I've previously posted this under a different title, but wanted to share it for Sweet Shot Tuesday today. It remains one of my all-time favorite poems. It's by W. H. Davies, entitled Leisure.

"What is the life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile that her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare."

My sweet daughter, Pauline.

Take a deep breathe. Exhale. Notice life.

SILENCE

A beautiful Wednesday morning. Nice, sunny and clear outside. Supposed to get a little colder today -- in the 60's.

Photo by Jimi Ann

I envy all you in the north enjoying a "real" autumn with chilly weather and blankets of snow!

Today I'm grateful for SILENCE.

I have a day without the children today, which rarely happens. You that homeschool know how it is when you have to practically schedule time to go to the bathroom alone! Forget completing a thought, that's out of the question most days! So, I'm very, very, very, very, VERY grateful for this day when all the children went to Mimi's. (Mimi is their grandmother.) They'll spend the night and we'll meet up with them tomorrow for Thanksgiving at Mimi's. I have to make a few dishes, and I desperately need to make some dresses, but I'll do it in SILENCE. Aaahhhh....blessed quietness.

Photo by Jimi Ann

I'm grateful for the SILENCE. To not have to talk to anyone. The last time I had a substantial amount of time alone, I went the entire day without talking. Yes, from the time I woke up, until the evening when my husband came home. It was WONDERFUL.

I turned off my phone (I just checked it periodically in case there was an emergency or something).

Photo by Jimi Ann

I declared it a mental health day -- a recovery day. Kind of like a sick day, but I wasn't sick. A retreat. We all need retreats, especially when you're with people who need you 24/7. Jesus retreated, and we need it too.

I made myself a nice breakfast and read a devotional with a cup of tea while watching the morning unfold.

Took a loooong glorious sha-bath. (That's a shower, turned into a bath, for those who haven't experienced this luxury).

I did some light cleaning, with no big goal in mind. You know, it's actually relaxing cleaning and putzing around the house when you're alone, and it's quite meditative.

Photo by Jimi Ann

I read. I prayed. And I wrote.

I did everything slowly, purposefully, and was fully in the moment. I exhaled and remembered not to hurry or rush. My shoulders relaxed. My soul was refreshed and quieted.

It's an especially treasured gift today, in light of the hustle-bustle of the holidays coming up. SILENCE. I read somewhere recently, it's my soul learning to breathe again.

Photo by Jimi Ann

I want to share a verse of one of my favorite hymns:

"Blessed quietness, holy quietness,
Blest assurance in my soul.
On the stormy sea Jesus speaks to me,
And the billows cease to roll."

"Joys are flowing like a river,
Since the Comforter has come;
He abides with us forever,
Makes the trusting heart his home."

(Click on the picture of my hymn book above to read the rest of the lyrics if you want to).

Have a wonderful Wednesday, and hope you all have a blessed time of Thanksgiving tomorrow!

Don't forget to breathe!


Again joining Brenda for the Gratitude Challenge. I'm very grateful for her.

I also just discovered Wordless Wednesday, which I'm excited about participating in! Next week, I'll really have a wordless Wednesday, not just write about it!

Quiet Waters

Photo by Jimi Ann

"Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted.

Only in a quiet mind is there adequate perception of the world."
~Hans Margolis

Well, on a normal day, it can be quite a challenge to find those quiet waters.

My littlest son came into the living room yesterday. I stopped checking papers for a moment and lowered my head to look in his eyes, to be on his level. I could tell he had something important to say. He was looking very earnest and determined. I cupped his sweet little face in my hands. "What is it honey?"

"I dropped Daddy's multi-tool." (For those like me who are ignorant to boy things, having grown up in a household of all females, a multi-tool is a very fancy, expensive pocketknife-thing with other fancy things on there to use for who-knows-what. Daddy's is of the skele-tool variety. A veritable treasure for men and boys.)

"Oh, well go pick it up, honey. That's ok. Be very careful with it. And remember, don't open it unless you have permission," I said in my patient sweet voice. (I was feeling like such a good mommy; teaching my children to be safe and all, and in such a patient voice.)

"Well, it's hard to pick up. I dropped it in water."

"It's ok. It'll dry. Just pick it up and dry it off."

"But it's in the toilet. And the case too. (long pause here) ...And a little poop is in there too."

Hmmmm....boys...what will they do next...

Photo by Jimi Ann

Another scenario -- I decide it's time to break down and do some good, hard cleaning. I'll work for an hour as hard as I can. I should be able to put quite a dent it, and then I'll feel like I've done something. Yeah!

"Mom! You've got to come right now! Quick! Hurry!"

"Oh no, what's happened?!" I wonder what on earth it could be, with that urgency in my 8-year-old son's voice. Is someone badly hurt?! I throw my rag down and dash out the door, leaving it open as all the flies come darting in (I swear they must wait just outside the door in sprinting position.) I run out into the yard. I look right. Left. I don't see him. He's still screaming and yelling. I frantically run around the house, down the hill, over to the other side. Is that him, that little dot in the field? I'm squinting. Soon, the other children are racing out through the pasture, with me racing to keep up, tripping up on the way. Oopffh.....

Photo by Jimi Ann

"LOOK!! There!!" he screams.

"What?!! What?!!" Is there a dangerous animal approaching?, I think. A poisonous snake??! Oh no! My mind starts racing, Where's my suction-cup thing that sucks out venom in case we ever get bit?? Did I leave it in the car? Wait, I think I remember seeing it last year in a box in the basement!

"Don't you see it??!!" he yells.

"Uhh...no. See what?" OK, now I'm close enough to him to see he's looking up. Could it be a hawk circling, ready to make a kill? (That's big excitement here -- especially for me, a bird enthusiast.) I look up. Nothing.

"Oh well," he says, "it's gone."

It was some kind of special helicopter. There's a name for it. The boys all know it. But to me, it's a mere helicopter.

Photo by Drew

Now, what was I doing, I think as I trudge back up the hill, getting those little prickly things stuck all on my socks. Ooh. Ouch.

Photo by Jimi Ann

Ok, well, it's getting late and I really need to get started on dinner. Forget the cleaning. It'll still be there tomorrow. I'm going to try a new recipe tonight. Thrill everyone with my superb culinary talents. I really have to concentrate so I don't mess up big and end up having to go to KFC. (Some nights I rate KFC at 5 stars.) I get out all the ingredients. Make a quick run to the little grocery store in town for a missing ingredient. There. Got everything. Here I go. Hmmmm....set the oven for....

"Mom..." I can tell my teenage son really needs to talk. Teenagers are like that, I'm finding out. Did you know I recently read that we need to stop and listen to them whenever they talk? They desperately NEED that to develop into healthy adults. Far be it from me to ruin his adulthood by not listening to him!

"Yes, honey?" I ask, as I take a seat to remove more prickly-things from my sock.

When he asks me if I know how enormously big an A-380 is, I reply, "What's an A-380?" A new Ford minivan, perhaps? Well, he immediately sees my need to be educated in aero technology. I spend the next half hour learning that all airplanes are not classified as "big." Did you know there are actually tons of differing sizes, shapes, and variety of airplanes?? And they all have different functions? I continue to learn about the various engines and the intricacies of aero dynamics. (Maybe you knew -- but I'm ignorant of this new information. I mean, really, I'm a bird-watcher, not an airplane watcher. You've seen one airplane, you've seen them all.)

Photo by Drew

But, my teenage son really wants to be a pilot.

Photo by Drew

He lives and breathes and dreams airplanes...

Photo by Drew

What happened to wanting to be a medical missionary in Madagascar?? I mean, he was set on that. So set, that he had already decided this was going to be his life's work when he was two and a half. Right after he learned that they have lemurs there, from watching Zoboo-mafoom. Back in the days when we had TV.

I stop that daydreaming, though, for a new daydream. And I imagine how handsome he'd look in that pilot's uniform...how I'd be waiting in some big international airport with a crowd of onlookers, and this regal-looking, handsome pilot would come walking straight to me, his mother. I'd latch onto his arm, and we'd stroll out together...yeah..... Now, back to reality.

Ahhh...to be Henry David Thoreau. I secretly dream some days of how I'll set off for the wilderness, build my one-room cabin, live in complete solitude. (Or, at the least, get a room in a nice bed & breakfast for a night alone, and then a breakfast of homemade belgium waffles and hot coffee made by someone other than me.)

Thoreau's cabin at Walden Pond

I hear a car door shut. I snap out if it. My husband walks in to a kitchen with not a single dinner aroma floating in the air. I mumble something about my dream and my craving to be totally alone. "That sounds great," he says passing through, kissing me on the cheek. As he's putting down his briefcase in the bedroom, I hear, "Hey honey?"

"Mmm-hmm?" I answer.

"I'll go with you!" Agghhhh.......

So, on days like this, the only quiet water I find is when I lock myself in my bathroom and listen to the trickling of the toilet. Hope that cat doesn't come and meow at the bathroom door to be let in. Again.

Photo by Jimi Ann

But that's ok for today. I love my imperfect life! I love all the idiosyncrasies and never-dull-moments. And besides...

Tomorrow is another day. I trust what David said about our God in the Psalms, "He leadeth me beside the still waters." He will.


Previous posts on Solitude are in "November" under Blog Archives to the right. (Yeah, I know...but I need detailed instructions when it comes to computer things...)

What IS Solitude?

Is solitude Loneliness? No. "Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment."

I LOVE being alone. I'm not lonely. If I don't fear being alone, I possess inward solitude.

"There is freedom to be alone, not in order to be away from people but in order to hear the divine Whisper better." Although, I admit, I DO often want to get away from people! As I read in A. W. Tozer's biography, God is much easier to be with than people sometimes!



Is solitude Silence? Well, yes and no. I can be silent and still be very agitated or angry. (Like giving my husband the silent treatment -- I know, I know....)

But...we do need silence to have solitude. "Without silence there is no solitude. "

"All those who open their mouths, close their eyes! The purpose of silence and solitude is to be able to see and hear." And to see and hear more clearly. To notice the little things. The things in life that don't shout.

Is solitude Listening? I fail to listen if I'm not silent. Listening to what God is trying to reveal to me. If I take no time for silence, expectantly waiting, I won't hear that still, small voice tugging at my heart. The whisper. The sound of the trickling brook.



Is solitude Trust? Yes. Silence is trust. Trust that I don't have to control everything and everybody. "A frantic stream of words flows from us because we are in a constant process of adjusting our public image. We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding....Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification." I need to let God be my justifier -- I don't need to straighten others out. Nor do they need me to. Trust. If I try to straighten others out, I interfere with God's plan for them. I become a block. A block to their spiritual growth.

Me being silent. To listen to them. Trusting God with them.



Solitude.

What is Solitude to you? I would love to listen.

As a disclaimer, I'd like to quote a big truth I read once, "We teach best what we most need to learn!"


(All Photos by Jimi Ann;
Quotes by Richard Foster)

Solitude

What does solitude mean to you? Most of us desperately need solitude, especially as this holiday season starts rolling, growing as it gains speed. This morning I realize my need to slow down, to actually STOP, to cease striving -- even if for a few moments in the morning. It's in these moments that our greatest ideas come to us. It's when God speaks to us in His still, small voice.

In the darkness of early morning, as I was still lying in bed, luxuriously thinking, dreaming, praying, visualizing my day -- God brought to my mind these random thoughts:

What color shall I paint my bedroom? Robin's egg blue? Fresh, clean.

We should feed the homeless, especially during the holidays.
Should we schedule times to go work in the local soup kitchen? Maybe I'll make homemade pound cake again. For them.


I want to spend all the time after breakfast until lunch physically sitting with the children reading our history, doing mapwork, going over troublesome schoolwork, teaching more phonics to George. Being there -- undistracted -- fully in the moment(s) with them.

Photo by Peter

Hmmm....those dresses of mine and Pauline's really need hemming. I'll do that this afternoon while she reads aloud from her "Personal Help for Girls" book, and we can discuss it and laugh while I sew. She can have a hot cup of the cappuccino that our houseguests recently gave us! Yeah...



Dinner tonight...hmmmm....spaghetti and meatballs. Yes. The boys can make the meatballs as an after-lunch project. They love getting their hands messy! And Peter can be in charge (one of his favorite things to do is be in charge. He doesn't care what he's in charge of; just so he's in charge). Oh good, I have ground beef in the fridge -- now I can delay grocery shopping for yet another day. Yay!

Oh, we forgot to send Aunt Sharyn a thank you card for George's birthday money! Forgot again. OK. I'll incorporate the writing of it into his schoolwork this morning. Or maybe a picture of him holding it? No, we did that last year.


Back to the homeless...yes, what a good service project...we'll pray about that and for them over breakfast.

Breakfast. I think I smell oatmeal. Pauline must be making oatmeal. I just checked. She is. What a warm, hearty meal for this chilly morning...what a peaceful start to the day. Oh, look! The sun's up already! Looks like it'll be a clear day. Now my head's clear and I'm ready for it.




SOLITUDE...when God speaks to us. SOLITUDE...when that Voice gives me guidance for my day. When we stop. When we notice the little things.

Do you practice solitude? What are some of your favorite ways?

I'm thinking of doing a series on Solitude...

(Photos by Jimi Ann)

Be sure to visit Emily to unwrap the treasures at Tuesdays Unwrapped:

Solitude in November

Peter, my firstborn, 14-year-old son

November. A new month. A new season (almost). We embrace the deepening of the autumn season, and anticipate the beginnings of winter. This season is a time of reflecting, of snuggling in a down comforter with hot chocolate. I look forward to waking up while it's still dark, lighting a candle and snuggling on the loveseat in our bedroom to welcome the day. In silence. Ahhh....the gift of solitude.



I read the Psalms or some other inspirational reading, and look out the window and just think. Leisurely thinking -- just having your own thoughts without interruption -- is a luxury when you have children at home all day! I relish this time. When I read at this time, I don't read to get through as much as I can. This is not a time to be productive. I'm productive all day long. This is a time to meditate, to just simply BE. "Be still and know that I am God, " says Psalm 46:10.

Soon I'll start smelling coffee wafting down the hallway from the kitchen. Peter must be up. I hope he puts cinnamon in it this morning. Mmmmm....the aroma just whispers COZY.


He did. He DID put cinnamon in it! I'm thankful on this first November day.

What are some of the simple pleasures that you're thankful for in this season?

(All photos by Jimi Ann)

Visit Melissa at the Inspired Room for more thoughts/ideas on this season: