On Embracing the Human Race and Diversity

Credit: Pete Saloutos/Getty Images

This past week my children and I visited a nearby park near our new neighborhood. I was so delighted to meet so many interesting people from different ethnic backgrounds and religions. God made our world so rich in variety!

There were several families at the park. I sat at a picnic table with four other homeschooling mothers. But not your typical homeschooling crowd. At the table, there was a French Muslim, an atheist, a Unitarian Universalist, a Cuban Seventh-Day Adventist, and me. I am a Christian who was briefly involved in one of the above spiritual paths in the past.

I grew up with no religion or spiritual guidance, dabbled in many spiritual paths, then became a Christian in my mid to late 20's. Since then, which was over 20 years ago, our family has had experiences in a myriad of different settings, the latest being over five years spent with conservative Mennonite/Anabaptist communities. (The Mennonites are the group that the Amish came out of, around the 1600's). We are no longer part of that community, as of just a few months ago, although we greatly appreciate our time there. We learned a lot, were enriched, and we, as well as our children, have many fond memories and are very, very grateful for that time in our lives, and we love the people there.

Back at the park the other day, the thing that amazed and delighted me was the graciousness and humbleness of our very candid conversations. Everyone felt free to share about the paths they had chosen, or had grown up with, in detail, and no one was offended, loud or upset. Very rare nowadays. It's about getting to know people on a deeper level -- their joys, their struggles, their journeys. Our time together was very rich and loving. My spirit was quickened and I felt love for everyone there.

It got me thinking that we have so much to learn from others. Anyone! I think I learned more from the DC homeless population, when I worked with them years ago, than others in quite a while. I've found that there's a great depth to people when they've worked hard to overcome challenges and difficulties. They've truly experienced life in so many ways and on so many levels, good and bad, and have so much to offer. Such richness.

I'm grateful that we're not so isolated anymore and are able to more fully be a part of the human race. For the past few years, it seems, we rejected fellowship with anyone that wasn't just like us. And some of the only times we did communicate with people that were different than us was to try to make them just like us. This is the way of the community we recently left.

My husband and I feel ashamed at the way we looked at others at times; how we bought into a limited way of thinking -- how judgmental we were toward anyone not like us. It's so easy to fall into, especially for those who have never known any different, and especially when that's mostly all you and your children are surrounded by, day in and day out.

It's WONDERFUL to be able to touch others' lives again, and to be touched by them! We're slowly reversing some (but not all) of the teachings we and our children have been immersed in over the past several years. One being that we need not fear man.

We can learn lessons from ANYONE!

Guilt and Judgment

"Accused of Witchcraft"
Oil Painting by Douglas Volk, 1884. Corcoran Gallery Washington, DC




"Do not be afraid to look within.
The EGO tells you
all is black with guilt within you,
and bids you not to look.

Instead, it bids you to look upon your brothers,
and see the guilt in them.
Yet this you cannot do without remaining blind."
A Course in Miracles

"Witch Hill," or "The Salem Martyr"
Thomas Slatterwhite Noble 1835 - 1907
Lexington: Univ. of Kentucky Art Museum. Collection of the NY Historical Society

Is the ego really just us trying to be God?

#1 Lesson Learned - Don't be a People-Pleaser

My husband and I discuss issues at depth every day. We talk throughout the day, but I especially savor the intimate time with him before bed every night, after the children are in bed, when we talk about anything and everything, sometimes staying up way too late. He has such good insight and is also a very good listener. Our communication with each other is one of the greatest gifts I could be given.


We've been talking lately about our journey together living amongst the plain people and the lessons learned during that time. Here is one of them.


Do not live to please other people.


As is common knowledge, the plain people live differently than the general public in so many ways. This can sometimes lead to pride, in the sense that "Our way is the only godly way." It sets up barriers and walls to people not in that particular church or group. Sometimes other plain groups are avoided if they are deemed too worldly, or not as godly, for whatever reason the ministry may have. We've seen it be something as seemingly trivial as the other group "wears skirts and blouses instead of dresses like us. We need to let our people know not to associate with them."

Both groups are professing Christians. It seems very odd to the world. But when you're in it, strangely enough, you understand it, although you may not agree with it. Or sometimes you wake up and shockingly realize you've slowly started agreeing with it.


Most of these deductions are fear-based. Fear of people. It seems there's not a lot of trust that God can protect and bless if you're not also protected and sheltered by an exclusive group. With this perspective, it sets up the leader as a type of "god," as God is seemingly not enough. People leaving the group are seen as losing their faith and relationships with them are discouraged or banned, in fear that they will influence others and make them lose their faith too. Fear of what man might do. Fear of losing control.


We didn't realize until after we left how these attitudes portrayed the group/church to the world. It pushed people away. One reason being fear of being judged and criticized for not meeting the man-made requirements they've come up with. (The requirements differ from group to group, depending usually on the leader's background and where he's at spiritually at the time.)


I grieve at the way I played a part in making people feel small. More than one "outsider" has expressed the way these attitudes have made them feel smaller than small, even when they've had brief encounters with group members at Wal-Mart or other public places, in passing. At times it's an aura, as attitudes can be communicated sometimes even without words. I have been just as guilty as others. It becomes sort of like "group-think," everyone thinking the same way. We didn't even see it or realize it until we weren't in the middle of it anymore.


To most people raised in plain backgrounds, this type of life feels normal and right; it's what they know. And it is a wholesome lifestyle with a lot of beneficial elements. The main drawback we see is the rejection and intolerance of people that are not part of the group, or are not expressing interest in being part of the group. (If someone is not part of the group, but is expressing interest in becoming part of the group, they are warmly welcomed.)


We, having been raised in the American culture, and then also living in the Plain culture for five years, have the advantage of seeing from both "sides." I say "sides" because that's the perspective of most plain people -- not all, but most. From that perspective, I was raised an outsider, then I was a true believer for several years, now I'm an outsider again.


Lest anyone misinterpret, I am happy and grateful for our many life experiences, including our time with the plain people, as it, along with our other life experiences, has helped our family see different perspectives and views, not just our own. We have grown, having furthered our education in life. It has helped us develop EMPATHY, which is another lesson learned, that I plan on writing about in the future.

Psalm 118:6 "The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?"

Affirmation for today: I will not be a people-pleaser.