Winter

We had a master violinist (my mother actually found him on the subways of New York City) and a concert pianist play Vivaldi at our wedding, although they did Spring instead of Winter (we had a spring wedding). It was breathtaking, as the following is...

I love the build-up in the beginning, leading up to a magnificent crescendo, right at 1:19 (you can see the timer at the bottom by moving your mouse toward the bottom).

It makes your heart want to SING!!

Favorite Bach

This piece makes my spirit leap up. If you're not moved by this beautiful, beautiful music, you may need to have your heart checked for activity.

Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach (1714-1788)

Harpsichord Concerto in d minor, Wq.23 (1748)

Now listen to it again with the speaker turned up and your eyes closed.

ships in distress

Ships in Distress off a Rocky Coast Ludolf Backhuysen 1667

National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC

Do we really live? Or merely exist, enduring from day to exhausting day? While what I do is important, what I am is more important.

Do I have energy saved up for my relationship with my spouse or close friends? Or are we like passing ships in the night on a dark and lonely sea? Do we hear the distant horn, the distress signals of our friends, families, neighbors and others, but aren't able to see the other ships through the fog of our own busyness?

Nach dem Tornado 1899 Winslow Homer
Art Institute of Chicago
Source: Wikipedia

When I'm feeling burned out, I need to ask myself: How is my inner life? My relationships? Are they deep and passionate and true? Have I taken the time to make them so? If we're mothers, how are our families? Our husbands? Are they calm and contented? Or as frazzled as we are? As a wife and mother, I set the tone for my home.

Do I have time for God? For solitude; to calm my anxious mind? To breathe deeply and be grateful for every breath.

At night, if we have children, do we try to get them to bed fast so that we can get more done and drop dead in our beds from sheer exhaustion? Or have I paced myself and taken care of needs so that I'm able to relax, savor and enjoy my children, building deep and lasting bonds? If it's not the latter, then I know I need to cease striving and reevaluate what I'm doing and why. "Busyness is the enemy of spirituality, as I shared here.

Sometimes, though, when in distress, we have to be forced to reevaluate. We had the minister and his wife at our old church stop by our home one afternoon. They were upset with my husband and I because we weren't filling their expectations of attending both back-to-back church services one Sunday. We only attended one. Instead, we had chosen to take a meal to a very sick family, after seeing off out-of-town friends that we had hosted for the weekend. Then we needed to take the time to rest and recover from our busy weekend with guests. I share this to make the point that others won't always agree or try to understand our choices to not participate in their agendas, but we still have to follow God's leading, like we did that day. They were very unhappy with us -- but we knew we did the right thing.

Consequently, that confrontation ended up being a blessing in disguise, as the minister's wife brought out a lot of other issues she had with my husband and me, which we hadn't known were busting at the seams. She pushed us to take a long, hard look at our lives, our choices and our walk with God. Sometimes we need that extra shove. God used that incident to bless us with our current situation, and we learned a huge lesson about freedom. We hadn't been listening to that inner voice, so the choice was made for us. For that, we're grateful.

So...we needed to listen to that still, small voice within us; instead of the shouting of other people. That still, small voice instead of the foghorn.

That said, we had to let go of some of ours, and mostly, others' expectations. It's not always easy. But, we trade the better for the best. "Best" may not seem so to others, and that's okay -- it's in the eyes of the beholder.

Disclaimer:

"We teach best what we most need to learn."
~ Richard Bach

Guilt and Judgment

"Accused of Witchcraft"
Oil Painting by Douglas Volk, 1884. Corcoran Gallery Washington, DC




"Do not be afraid to look within.
The EGO tells you
all is black with guilt within you,
and bids you not to look.

Instead, it bids you to look upon your brothers,
and see the guilt in them.
Yet this you cannot do without remaining blind."
A Course in Miracles

"Witch Hill," or "The Salem Martyr"
Thomas Slatterwhite Noble 1835 - 1907
Lexington: Univ. of Kentucky Art Museum. Collection of the NY Historical Society

Is the ego really just us trying to be God?

happy faces: a poem by me

Grant Wood, American Gothic (1930)
Art Institute of Chicago

Stone faces staring back at me
Not even able to hear

Stone faces staring back at me
Not able to shed a tear

Doing, doing, doing -- no time to be
Not much time to think or feel
Doing, doing, doing -- no time to be
Do you think they'll like your meal?

Afraid to hear the depths of another
You are present but not really here
Afraid to hear the depths of another
What would happen if I saw a tear?

It's who you are; you are what you know
Although you may not understand
It's who you are; you are what you know
You come from a foreign land.

Would like for you to visit my world
Show you what it's like over here
You've been too scared to enter in
Even though you are very near.

Stone faces staring back at me
Not even able to hear
Stone faces staring back at me
Not able to shed a tear.

by jimi ann

Linking to One Shot Wednesday, over at One Stop Poetry - Where Poets, Writers & Artists Meet...

fear of man

Frédéric Bazille

Young Woman with Peonies , 1870
Collection of Mr. and Mrs. Paul Mellon
National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC

"Because people are defective does not mean they cannot see your defects. They see your fears, the contradictions, and your weaknesses. When they see them, they judge them. They assume an interpretation that may have nothing to do with what is really going on...people will criticize...When you are, as I was, unclear, unfocused, and sensitive to criticism, it will cripple you. You will become defensive. You will eventually say or do something that appears to support what people have judged to be wrong with you. If you react, or try to defend yourself, that's when they will get you." ~Iyanla Vanzant

"God is on my side;
I will not fear:
what can man do unto me?"
Psalm 118:6

Linked to Sunday Citar.

on self-worth and comparison

It's a well-known fact that sometimes we find too much of our worth in our work.

Hay Harvest at Eragny, Camille Pissarro 1901

National Gallery of Canada, Ottawa, Ontario
Source: Wikipedia

We find it difficult to not measure ourselves or "prove" ourselves worthy by how busy we are and how much we get accomplished. A sure sign is when we start telling others they need to do more too, or do it better, or judging them because they're not living up to our standards.

Life becomes one big balancing act that teeters on a very thin rope, ready to fray and send us spiraling down any minute. We don't face it and stop our denial, and it oddly propels us to go even faster. More caffeine, please!

Lise Sewing 1866, Pierre-Auguste Renoir

Dallas Museum of Art

Some women seem to have it all together. The key word is "seem."

It's important for me to remember that the part of someone else's life I see is all I see. And it's usually a very small part.

Young Housewife, Oil on canvas.

The Russian Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia
Source: Wikipedia

"You can live a lifetime and,
at the end of it,
know more about other people
than you know about yourself."
~ Beryl Markham

I think maybe an accurate addendum to the above would be, "think we know more about other people..." All I see is all I see.

I want to be a true friend who accepts others where they are, and be there to support and encourage them on their journey when they need it. Not give un-solicited advice telling them they need to be like me, or tearing them down instead of building them up. A fine line sometimes. I know I need help in that area. And admitting is the beginning of growth.

Join Emily and others at Imperfect Prose on Thursdays. You have GOT to read her post from today on "Boys with Clown Noses." Get your box of tissues ready.

embracing our God-given emotions

Vincent Van Gogh 1890

"At Eternity's Gate"
Source: Wikipedia

"Emotion is action. By embracing emotion, the character does something, goes through a change, finds a resolution. It doesn’t matter if the emotion is upbeat or downbeat, positive or negative — the effect is the same.

So don’t be afraid of emotion."

~ Pat Bertram

May we embrace our God-given emotions and not let them scare us into silence and suppression. We need not fear God's powerful handiwork. He made us this way.